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+---
+title: Two Funerals and a Wedding
+---
+
+The first two funerals I attended in my life were years and miles apart.
+They were for my two grandfathers, but they were as different as night
+and day. I remember them mainly for the incredible contrast between them
+and the realization that came from the experience. I classify the lesson
+as one of the most important of my life's learnings.
+
+My mother's father, Eldon Forman, died when I was only eight years old
+in 1961. I still remember the phone call my mother received one evening
+while we lived in Hermiston, Oregon. It was from my Grandma Forman. When
+my mother heard the news of Grandpa Forman's heart attack, my mother
+yelled, "Oh Mother!!" loud enough to scare the daylights out of all the
+children in the house. It was my first brush with death. I was too young
+to comprehend the gravity of the moment.
+
+Our family drove to Portland a few days later to attend the funeral. My
+brother Tom and I were the only ones of all my siblings that attended
+the funeral with Mom and Dad. I remember looking at his still body in
+the casket and Grandma Forman saying, "He's just sleeping, Dan." After
+this, during the eulogies and other remarks, my brother and I were
+blubbering inconsolably. The enormity of death finally sunk in. I
+remember the feeling of loss and the hopelessness of ever seeing him
+again. I was too young to understand the moment from an eternal
+perspective. It was just lonely and so sad for an eight-year-old to have
+to comprehend.
+
+Jump forward to 1985. My grandpa Williams was gravely ill because he had
+difficulties swallowing any food. He went to the hospital for surgery to
+correct the problem. During the surgery, it became apparent that his
+body was too weak to handle the anesthesia for the operation. His vital
+signs were fading fast, so the doctors had to abort the operation before
+they could correct the problem. He was told to go home and say his
+good-byes to his family.
+
+I remember the last visit with him at his home in Provo, Utah. He said,
+"I'm going back home to live with my Heavenly Father." He was very weak
+and frail, but totally at peace with his approaching last day in
+mortality.
+
+A week or so later, the family gathered for his funeral. I was amazed at
+the mood in the Mormon chapel. There was no sadness or somber exchanges
+of "sorry for your loss" phrases, like you see on the TV depictions of
+funerals. Family members who had not seen each other for many months
+greeted each other with delightful happiness. During the service, many
+stories about Grandpa Williams were told that made everyone laugh and
+chuckle. It was a genuine celebration of a life well lived. We all knew
+we would see Grandpa again before long and that he had gone to a place
+where he would continue his mission of doing good things for others.
+
+Before the funeral, I still carried the dark impression of my first
+funeral in my mind. I was not looking forward to the expected gloom of
+the occasion. My attitude was totally transformed by the joy and
+rejoicing that I found there instead. Upon reflection, I realized the
+huge gift of understanding the big picture. I was 32 and had heard all
+the Sunday School and seminary lessons. I even taught these things to
+others in Brazil, but this experience brought it all deep into my heart.
+The impact on my life and the gratitude I still feel is hard to put into
+words.
+
+By the way, I was just kidding about the wedding.